Regret
by SarissaDiablo
Summary: Cloud smiled evilly. "I was trying to figure something out,” Cloud said, leaning back against the table directly behind him. “What makes you think that you, or any of your men could kill General Sephiroth?” Warnings inside. Wolfish Ways series.


**This follows directly after SOLDIER Exam. Cloud has his first solo mission as a 1st, and he learns to regret his actions because of something he learned during the mission. Contains no yaoi, but it is M for language and torture. If you don't like, don't read. Part of the Wolfish Ways series.**

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Cloud's hand shook as he looked at the documents he was holding. His first solo mission as a 1st, and he had been ordered to kill every member in this camp, because they were accused of plotting against ShinRa. Cloud had smirked at that. These days, everyone was plotting against ShinRa. The documents in his hand proved it though. In fact, these three pieces of paper, told him that they were plotting against his General. An assassination plot, to be exact. Also, from what he was reading, it was highly possible it could work. His eyes shifted to the unconscious man he had taken the papers from, his eyes slowly darkening as a scowl formed on his lips. Just as he walked over to the man, pocketing the papers, a rule of the 1st Class SOLDIER's popped into his head. If a 1st brings back a captive, it is his duty to interrogate the captive, unless he signs said captive over to the Turks. His scowl turned into a smirk as he swiftly tied the man up, throwing him over his shoulder as he walked out of the tent. Looking around, his eyes were cold and amused as he took in the burning tents, the scattered body parts. He walked into the darkness, thinking, I don't feel so bad about killing them all now.

**lxlxlxlxl**

Cloud straddled the mans lap, lightly tapping his bruised cheek. As the dark eyes began to flutter open, he smirked lazily, not shifting his position. As soon as the man was awake enough to realize his position, he tried throwing the blonde off, but Cloud casually backhanded him, sending a spray of blood across the room. He snickered softly when the man turned his head back slowly, glaring at him.

"I was trying to figure something out," he said, leaning back against the table directly behind him, resting on his elbows easily. "What makes you think that you, or any of your men could kill General Sephiroth?" The man spat on him, and Cloud easily ignored the blood and saliva dripping down his cheek, keeping his softly glowing eyes steady on the others.

"If I had my choice, I would kill all of you," he sneered, making the blonde smile slightly.

"I'm sure you would. What do you think the reaction would be from SOLDIER, and ShinRa if you killed the General?" his tone was calm, his face neutral. The man understood what he was asking, and he paled dramatically, his eyes going wide. SOLDIER's loyalty to the General was legendary, because everyone knew that Sephiroth had put everything he had into SOLDIER, and they gave the same back. Cloud smirked.

"Did you really think that you would get away with it? That the punishment wouldn't be severe, or swift? Wutai would be razed to the ground, leaving no one left on the Island. Cities would be raided, and anyone, _anyone_, associated with Avalanche would be brought in, tortured, and then killed." Cloud leaned forward slightly, casually reaching out to trail his fingertips over the exposed skin on the mans neck. He watched with cold amusement as the man trembled, his eyes going wider then they were. He let his fingers rest on the mans nipple, tweaking and rubbing it until the dark eyes were glittering in fear, defiance, and desire. Viciously, he grabbed and twisted, pulling at the same time. It only took a moment for Cloud to rip the body part off, watching dispassionately as the man screamed once, then fell silent, gasping for breath.

"What do you want from me?" he asked, desperation coloring his voice.

"Well…" Cloud said, drawing out the word. He tapped his now bloody finger against his bottom lip, screwing up his face in a parody of thinking very hard. What spoiled it, or made it better, was the cold calculation in his eyes. "A list of your fellow rebels would be nice. Oh, and all the places that you make camp. Hideouts, stashes of weapons. You know, the usual." The man stared at him opened mouthed, wondering where the fuck ShinRa had found a 1st Class SOLDIER that looked like an innocent angel, but held the mind of a cold, cunning, sadistic demon. He snarled, earning him another backhand, this time across the other side of his face. Turning his head back, he refused to give into the dizziness and blackness creeping at the edges of his vision. He would give this demon nothing.

"Fuck off," he spat, flinching back in fear when Cloud shot forward, holding his face almost lovingly in his hands.

"Hmmm…I figured you would say something like that. Do you know how many bones are in the human body? 206, depending on the age of the person." His voice had turned purring, as one hand held his jaw immobile, and the other began to explore. He pinched the mans left collarbone, easily holding him still with his body as he slowly applied pressure. "The collarbone has to be the worst though. It connects just about everything in your arm and shoulder." He snapped it, close to the end by the throat, smiling slightly as his captive screamed. "Also, it can be broken multiple times." He moved swiftly down the bone, he ended up breaking it in four places before he couldn't get enough leverage to continue. The man continued to scream, though he couldn't even move his head due to the fact that Cloud still held it immobile. He switched hands, and broke the other one in four places as well, smirking when the man began to curse him. Tsking softly and shaking his head, he playfully slapped him a few times, before leaning back into his previous position.

"I'll let you in on a little secret, just between us," he said quietly, when the mans screams had died down. He looked at Cloud dully, gasping for breath and trying to shove down the nausea the pain was causing. "I don't give a fuck about locations, or the shitty, rebel members." He leaned in close, grinning as his eyes darkened to a thunderstorm blue. "You fucked with my lover, so I am going to fuck with you." The mans eyes went wide at that, and he jerked away, whimpering when he felt his broken bones grate together.

"You're Cloud Strife." Cloud smiled and leaned back again, staring into the mans terror filled eyes.

"So happy you've heard of me," he purred, and reached behind him for the tiny hammers he would use to break the rest of the mans bones.

**lxlxlxlxl**

Three hours later, at 1 in the morning, he finally walked out of the room, leaving the man howling and writhing on the floor, which only increased his pain. Just about every bone in his body was broken at least twice. The smaller ones he could only break once, unfortunately. One of his kidneys was ruptured, and his liver was perforated, spilling its poison deep into his body. Cloud estimated he had maybe 45 minutes to live, and each minute would seem like eternity. Stopping short, he blinked calmly at the two men who waited for him behind the one-way mirror.

"That was well done," Tseng said quietly, the head of the Turks. He felt no pride in the statement however, his actions of the previous hours having torn something inside him, leaving him feeling hollow, and mentally nauseous. Before while in Wutai, he was filled with a righteous anger, wanting to tear apart the man with his bare hands for threatening his lover. Even while in the room with him, he had wanted to cause him as much pain as possible, for daring to try and take his General away. Now that it was all done…he felt regret. It was eating him away inside, chipping away at his composure with every sound from the room he had just left. He wouldn't have changed what he did though, because he got all the information he wanted, and more. Sephiroth was only looking at him coolly, but it was the displeasure he was getting from the man, that made him smile sadly, his façade of calm acceptance crumbling away.

"Do you think differently about me, my love?" he asked quietly, looking down at his own hands.

"You didn't have to go that far. You had all your information by the time you got to his ribs," came the soft reply, and Cloud found himself laughing quietly.

"Your right. I didn't have to go that far." He raised his eyes, and locked them with the jade ones that were staring at him. "What would you have done, if you had found a near perfect plan to assassinate me?" Sephiroth opened his mouth to say something, but closed it, looking through the mirror to the now whimpering man. He knew, without a doubt, that he would have done much worse. Cloud seemed to sense this, only giving him the small, sad smile that Sephiroth had thought he had broken him away from doing. Doing the only thing he could think of, Sephiroth walked over and embraced his blonde lover, causing Cloud to blink once, then melt into the strong arms encasing him. He let himself be led out of the room without a fight, and into the elevator, neither of them saying a thing. It wasn't until they got to their apartment, Jaz wagging her tail and panting, that the numbness seemed to finally disappear from Cloud. He stopped in the middle of the living room, causing Sephiroth to frown, and look down at him.

He was staring at his hands, curling his fingers before stretching them out again. It wasn't until Sephiroth kneeled so he could look up into his face, that he saw the dawning horror in the bright blue eyes.

"I wouldn't change what I did," Cloud whispered, slowly raising his eyes to look into the sympathetic jade ones. "I wouldn't. I would do it again if I had to." He closed his eyes tightly, clenching his hands into fists as tears lined the dark gold of his lashes. A soft whine came from his feet, forcing him to smile slightly. The whine made him open his eyes, looking down at Jaz as she sat at his feet, staring up at him with concerned eyes. Sephiroth smiled slightly, patting the wolf on the head softly.

"She was worried about you," the General said quietly. "So was I."

"Do you regret the lives you've taken?" Cloud asked quietly, kneeling down and burying his face in the soft, thick fur of Jaz's neck. Sephiroth only thought for a moment, before nodding slightly.

"There are some that I do not regret," he said slowly, causing Cloud to look up at him through a veil of fur. "I am a General, and it is my duty to protect my men. If you are out to harm my men, then no, those lives I do not regret taking. However…" He paused, closing his eyes. Cloud watched as some memory caused him to frown slightly, lines of emotional pain becoming clear at the edges of his eyes. Sephiroth opened his eyes after a moment, and there was a soul deep regret there.

"There are many that if I had the choice, I never would have harmed. We are SOLDIER's Cloud, but still human. SOLDIER's follow orders, but humans make mistakes. Regret is a sad result of those mistakes." Cloud thought about this for a moment, as Jaz panted in his ear, happy to have her other master back.

"Regret lets us know when we make a mistake, so we can fix it," he said quietly, pulling away from the wolf and giving her a soft smile as he scratched her neck. His face fell then, as his eyes went dark with pain. "Some mistake can't be fixed though, can they?"

Silently shaking his head, Sephiroth gathered Cloud into his arms, pretending not to notice the tears that were falling down his cheeks. Sighing, he stood, lifting Cloud into his arms as he walked them to the bedroom. Stripping them both down to nothing but boxers, he lay Cloud in bed, and then curled up behind him, pulling the blanket up, then wrapping his arms around the slender waist. Jaz jumped onto the bed as well, something neither of them usually let happen, but neither told her no. She settled with her back to Cloud, and the new 1st wrapped his arms around her, like a large, living stuffed animal. Closing his eyes, Sephiroth sighed silently.

He knew this day would come, when he couldn't protect Cloud from something. Living with his regrets and mistakes was something he would have to learn on his own. Sephiroth and the rest could help him all they could, but this was something that would either make Cloud stronger, break, or completely change him. As Cloud drifted into an exhausted sleep, clutching the wolf to him, Sephiroth fervently hoped that the blonde was strong enough to live and learn. If he wasn't… Sephiroth forced himself to sleep, not wanting to finish the thought. Time would tell, so there was no use worrying about the worst case scenario. Tomorrow would be a better day.


End file.
